a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize