I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
