Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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