Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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