i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
