I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
