this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
