I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
...so i touched it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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