I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
