We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
