my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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