I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
