I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize