and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
