Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
