im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
