I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
