It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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