i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
