My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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