is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
handjob tips. give me some.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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