You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
