i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i think im in europe. pls send help
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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