ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize