end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
whose parrot is this?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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