forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
