summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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