She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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