Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
