Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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