he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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