Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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