He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
