Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
