Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize