Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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