sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
