He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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