roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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