You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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