So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
