Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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