After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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