i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
