it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
