More tranny stories later!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize