i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize