he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
