Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize