Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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