Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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