billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
