i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
