She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
