what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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