Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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