Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
