Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
