Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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