Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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