You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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