They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
