Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize