im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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