The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You pole danced in your parka.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
