he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
