In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
