She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
