He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
