All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
