I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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